I grew up as an Amish girl, with my own certain idea of what Proverbs 31 was all about.
I loved staying home with my children, and frankly, I loved pleasing my husband. It wasn’t hard for me to throw my entire self into homemaking and homeschooling. I have no regrets doing so, even though life changed and put me in an entirely opposite position.
I read Proverbs 31 carefully, as I read all of scripture. Somewhere along the way I discovered that man-worship hovers with oppression, and that only God deserved the radical attention of every human heart in every situation. I read the Bible as if my life depended on it, because it did.
When it’s hard to breathe, the breath of heaven becomes the air that keeps you alive.
I was suddenly alone in the world with four children to raise and a big world to face. But I enter Monday traffic with peace now, and have that deep knowing in my soul that nothing changes my womanhood unless I allow it.
It’s that odd feeling of knowing I can be out in the business world with the same attitude that kept me home making a big pot of oatmeal and nutritious green smoothies for my four children.
The same realization that I can be a single woman working hard to make it in a big world, with the same attitude that once, back in a far off day, had me homemaking and doing all the things I thought it would take to be a good wife. That I can stop at Chick fa le for my son’s dinner when I used to be home cooking delicious meals every single day.
My world is different now, but the goal is the same, and I’d like to call us back to softness. Not a weak kind, where the brain hides behind cleaning and opinions are shared in question form rather than God given insight spoken with confidence and a quiet knowing that the Holy Spirit is forming words internally so they can be shared externally.
The idea that a woman is a woman, and bears the image of God in a different way than a man does. That she is a nurturer and a life giver, a bearer of beauty, that somehow her softness in a world that could make her hard has more power than she knows—and it’s worth keeping.
I work daily to help my children see that a harsh world still leaves them with the option to be victors when they could be victims. And I’d love to remind us ladies of the same; that in a world of gender confusion and brittle women, there’s still an undeniable call of heaven to bear the image of God in the way we do it best.
The Proverbs 31 woman worked hard, with strength. “She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.” (verse 17)
Ladies, this is our call to health. We work hard, yes, but stewarding our bodies also means staying healthy to the best of our ability. Do you love the gym? Go work it out and stay in shape!
Do you hate the gym? Buy a simple app on your phone, head upstairs, and do calisthenics by your bedroom wall.
The call to keeping ourselves healthy is clear, and the rewards are great. Loving our bodies means we care for them, whatever that looks like.
“She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.” (verse 27)
Ladies, this is our call to keep a tidy home. Let the kids make a happy mess, but clean up and tidy up at the end of the day. I believe scrubbing a toilet is a form of worship, and lighting a candle brings cheer. A well kept home is a woman’s domain, and we don’t need wealth to accomplish this. Scrub an old wall and place some wildflowers in a vase you thrifted—whatever it looks like, consider your home part of yourself and what you keep tidy.
The anointing you need to hold a microphone begins when holding a toilet brush brings meaning because of what you’re creating when you do it.
Worship is not a public act; it is a way of life, a way of being with God, a way of finding meaning in all places at all times.
“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” (Verse 26)
Ladies, this is our call to be wise. Do we truly hear that? We are more than silly, emotional, complicated beings. Where is wisdom when emotions want to take over?
Growing up as an Amish girl with a fearful mind has given me an insatiable desire for wisdom when I feel afraid (which is often). As I navigate female emotions I am constantly pulled into the question, “Are my feelings about this wise?”
Our emotions are tools, but they are not guide posts.
Our emotions can lie, depriving us of all things good.
When my emotions take over, I pause and question myself. What is true and what is not true about this situation? What is of God and what is my own mind creating an unnecessary mess?
When I navigate life with this in mind, I give God the opportunity to turn a difficult situation into some kind of high praise outcome where only He gets glory because only His wisdom made a way for it to happen.
My daughters and I laugh often about hormonal challenges and we all give each other grace to be a little more edgy or weepy certain times of the month. We don’t laugh away hormonal difficulties in a spiritual pretense they don’t exist—but I teach them that not even hormones are a cause to treat another person ill.
Have a bath at mid-day before you yell at your family even once in a day.
“She considers a field and buys it.” (verse 16)
“She makes linen garments and sells them.” (verse 24)
I didn’t know I had a hidden entrepreneur inside me before life forced me to discover it. And as I lived year after year, I noticed that Proverbs 31 praised this kind of woman. In fact, her husband praised her because even he gained by her insight.
Titus 2:5 says that older women are to “train young women to love their husbands and children, to be self controlled, pure, working at home……”
Scripture calls women to put husbands and children first. When children are young, they need their mother. But scripture invites the same woman whose children no longer need her (or a single mom in an impossible situation) to be business savvy—that this kind of woman is a crown to her husband.
The Proverbs 31 woman had maids do some of her menial tasks so she could pursue lucrative goals. Whatever your situation is, don’t let your mind and body lay idle. Cultivate yourself, grow yourself, and bless your family first at home and, if life calls for it, also in business or ministry outside your own walls.
“Her clothing is fine linen and purple.” (Verse 22)
Charlotte has a large European community. I can often spot the ladies in a crowd because they take care of themselves. Slouchy or ugly clothing doesn’t work for these women, and they take care of their hair and skin even when they don’t wear jewelry. Different than a large part of American women who are either grossly immodest or simply don’t care at all, European women are a lovely reminder to keep myself feminine.
Ladies, we don’t need the latest fad or lots of money to be presentable and pleasant. Sweat pants and boxy t-shirts are not inspiring—wear a shirt with a feminine cut to it, and modest but cute skirt or pants. Shoes do wonders to an outfit and I sometimes pick up a pair at thrift stores. Even on cleaning days, I can take care to wear feminine or cute casual clothes, pin my hair up and take note of what looks pleasant.
Today I’m wearing light blue because it makes me feel happy and bright. You might not like blue, but take note of what creates a feminine and lovely feeling for your body and personality.
What we wear and how we cultivate our appearance has a direct bearing on how we feel.
“The heart of her husband trusts in her.” (Verse 11)
What about us can a husband trust? Is he exhausted just navigating our emotions or does he find peace in our presence? A husband should be able to let his guard down when he comes home because the over-all gift of a wise woman implies she has internal confidence and a sense of autonomous well-being that has something to add to the relationship rather than deplete it. Of course there are days we need his strong and safe presence to handle an internal storm—but I’m advocating for an over-all sense we can give a man that he’s coming home to something good and beautiful.
Do we wallow or do we worship? “A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Verse 30)
God calls this kind of woman (I believe single ladies, also) “far more precious than jewels”. (Verse 10)
Let’s stay soft in a world that could make us hard.
Cheers,
Sara D.
Women of Purpose 