My almost twelve year old son still loves to snuggle up against his mama’s warm winter robe. And sometimes the kids will say, “Mom, can you please gain some weight so you feel cozier?”
I always laugh because “feeling cozy” is a goal of mine for my kids but gaining weight for that goal is not my objective. However, there’s a reason children want mom to be a place of warmth and safety.
I love watching my children’s eyes pop when they realize, for the first time, that mama hosted them inside her womb. That they grew to be a little human inside of me astounds them and I use that opportunity to tell them how they are part of me and share my DNA, that I love them unconditionally, and will always be here.
Children with broken homes need to hear mama say, “I’m not going anywhere. For the rest of my life, I’ll be here.”
Most moms are naturals at loving and hosting their children. We are easily mama bears, and even those of us who don’t like fighting will come to arms over our babies whether they are kids or adults. But, I want to us to consider that our ability to “host” goes far deeper than our children.
Let’s look at four different ways women are called to host:
1. We are called to host the Presence of God.
Women are powerful assets in the kingdom. We are not to shut down and hide behind dishes and diapers, but are called to study the scriptures and bring aspects of the gospel into every part of our world.
We study apologetics so we can teach our children why and what we believe. We do this before they enter college with atheistic professors who will win an argument they’ve never been taught to engage unless we take our calling seriously.
If you feel ill-equipped, find a class or another adult to take your children deeper into the why’s of their faith. For awhile, I taught my children from my couch and for awhile, I took them to an apologetics class taught by a friend. Whatever the case, talk to your children and help them face their own doubts openly.
The Spirit of God wants to permanently reside in your soul to where your default attitude becomes hosting a God atmosphere. (Your children absorb what is caught even more than what is taught—atmosphere is everything!)
The flavor of Christ in our child’s world is hard to ignore. Even a struggling child will often say, “What you taught me doesn’t go away.”
You are a light bearer and a life giver because you host the Giver of all Life.
2. We are designed to host a nurturing environment.
Why do women take joy and pride in their homes? We love making things beautiful!
We are called to turn houses into homes.
Little things that may seem insignificant add up to create a wholesome environment. Imagine with me for a moment—no dinner means the rest of the family comes home hungry, needing to figure it out rather than gather around a loaded counter top or table.
No clean bathrooms means they enter smelly rather than refreshing spaces to groom and shower.
No décor means their world is bland and uninviting.
Stepping into a lovely, clean bathroom can make someone’s daily routine refreshing rather than frustrating.
So take heart, mothers who put in a lot of effort into creating and running an efficient household. Your children will grow up with good memories of home if you embrace everything that doesn’t feel good in your daily moments.
I’m here to say—cleaning a toilet and making a meal has dividends beyond what you see or feel today. You are not just doing menial tasks; you are creating meaningful homes.
Fill your fruit bowl and buy an elevated cake stand pretty enough to load up with muffins and stay on your counter top. Invite your family into your world by creating spaces they enjoy and need.
3. Wives are designed to host, even in sex.
Think with me for a minute about the natural design of our bodies. Whose body hosts and receives, invites and welcomes?
There’s a reason sex is a picture of Christ and the church. A man comes into his wife and gifts her his seed, which can create life. We host that life and give birth to a child, placed in us by the man we welcome into our body.
Sex is a beautiful thing designed to bring joy, connection, and satisfaction to both parties. Nurture this area of your life as you live fully in the beauty of your womanhood.
Just as Christ indwelling us brings us greater joy than anything else we know, so a married woman’s joy increases by her husband’s presence in the bedroom. If this is not happening, take time to address it, discover the cause of it, and make healing it priority.
(As shown in one survey), there is not supposed to be a 47% gap in sexual satisfaction for evangelical wives. And the gap will only be bridged if we are brave enough to uncover the cause. God has so much joy for wives in passionate and fulfilling sex. Until we discover and embrace it, we only enjoy part of our womanhood.
It is time for Christian women to be loved and honored in the bedroom and in all areas of life. Be free, be real, and step into all you are and want to be!
4. Host a Welcoming atmosphere.
Yesterday I taught a class of kids in low-income housing, seated at a picnic table and surrounded with beautiful brown faces.
But before I could do that, I had to walk with friends through apartment complexes, inviting kids to come. We showed them our bag of homemade chocolate chip cookies and invited them to join us. And when they came, we let them eat cookies while they heard the story of how God visited Samuel in the night even when his father was absent.
Most, if not all, the children there had absent fathers.
I got to watch my friend Lisa go out of her way to hug kids and even drive them to the grocery store for extra snacks. She carried such warmth about her as she hosted in that open air space where participation was uncertain for awhile. What child could resist her presence?
See this—women are called to bring warmth and belonging everywhere they go, in whatever capacity they are called to. It doesn’t look like doing as much as it looks like BEING.
We can only give what we already are.
When you know how much value you have as a woman, you can give value to everyone else.
You can host because you are fully convinced you have something worth giving because God has placed in you and with you and through you something of value that He calls you to share.
You are no longer desperate to be included or even to be loved because you are so fully convinced that you are already loved by God. Why focus on a human man, woman, child, church, or group when you are already focused on the Son of Man who became human just so He could enter your need?
Our focus on Jesus needs to be all in. Only there, fully at peace, can we give out the Prince of Peace.
With that knowing will come grace and space to give the same thing to others—whether that’s your husband, your children, your friends, the world, a stranger, your online community, or within the walls of your home—all will benefit from your presence.
The world needs women. God needs women. And you need yourself to be fully woman, taking a brave, bold dare to be fully alive.