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There’s a humorous story of a young Christian girl who wanted a husband so badly that she sat in her house day dreaming about a thief breaking in who would take one look at her and decide to love her instead of steal from her.

It’s humorous because it’s ridiculous. But wait a moment—it’s not as absurd as it may sound because a lot of people live this way, as if God intended us to only use our spiritual senses to exist in a human world with human need.

The question begs to be asked. Can our humanity separate from our spirituality?

Can we pretend to be needless in an area God purposefully designed us to have need? And if we try, what happens? I’ve seen so called “Christian” beliefs lead to absolute perversion as religious groups teach things the Bible never taught.

When God-given humanity is caged in with extra Biblical rules, it becomes perverted in a desperate effort to be un-caged. What was meant to be “holy” is now worse than the world, and religious groups find themselves bewildered as they deal with sin of a grosser nature than many non-believers would even desire to attempt.

What then does it mean to be satisfied in God, as Augustine says? “Oh Lord, our hearts are restless until they find their rest in Thee.”

Christians are notorious for pretending human feelings and need are to be ignored, unrecognized, and spiritualized. But what if our body, soul, and spirit are so entwined that one affects the other—and God created all of it?

God does not condemn our humanity—He created it! What if the longings we have are placed there by Himself, and acknowledging them is healthier than denying them?

Being satisfied in God doesn’t always mean denying human need. Rather, it means worshiping Him whether or not those needs are met.

Being content in God doesn’t mean living without our needs being met. Rather, it means seeking to fulfill our needs when possible, but being content when it is not possible or in line with His will for us.

Being whole doesn’t mean pretending we don’t need others in our lives. Rather, it means that when we lose those we love, we are able to grieve as those who have hope rather than fall into despair as those who have no hope.

In all things, we ask God, “How did you create me? What plan did you have for me? Why do I desire this so strongly?”

Our need for romantic love is only one area, but I’ll focus on this one since it is relevant to almost everyone.

When my ex husband left and dated a 16 year old girl, my own need for love did not diminish. What did it mean to be satisfied in God during that time?

It did not mean pretense, that I was okay when I was breaking, that I didn’t care when in fact, I cared more about my marriage than anything else I could think of. It didn’t mean denial. It didn’t mean turning into one of those “Who needs a man?” kind of a woman.

What it did mean was that I let God speak to me about His love.

I let God tell me what boundaries I needed.
I refused to date for the three long years such a complicated divorce took.

Being satisfied in God meant that when others told me to go find a hot date, I told them my conscience would not allow it because I was a married woman.

Being satisfied in God meant that I acknowledged before God that I was living in ways He created me not to have to live. That the burden I felt on my shoulders was not planned by Him. That I didn’t have to pretend to be okay with something He wasn’t okay with, and I didn’t have to pretend I didn’t need my husband to be faithful when God Himself needed His daughters to be cared for by faithful men.

And years later, being satisfied in God meant asking God what He wanted for me, not passively, but purposefully.

Being satisfied in God means obedience to God, not passive existence. I see Christians in denial, passivity, and discontentment leading to longevity of depression and despair as they cage themselves to an existence God never asked of them.

Instead, lets ask ourselves, “Who did God create me to be?” Then, let’s reach out to pursue what that is—all the while, making sure our desires are in line with His word and scripture. If they are not, being satisfied in God means saying no.

God’s no is always in line with His better yes.

But very often, the things we deny ourselves of are actually things God created us to have. When we turn away from the gifts of God, we turn away from an aspect of God’s heart for us. In turn, we become miserably religious with no joy. Our “spirituality” is no longer spiritual, but carnal.

Denying ourselves brings joy when God is truly saying no, but when He’s offering us gifts, we live in abundant life by pursuing and accepting them.

In this process, let no religious person tell you you’re not “holy enough” because true holiness doesn’t impose anything but God’s heart and God’s best on others.

I’m not talking a selfish or sinful pursuit of happiness here. There is no freedom in sin and no joy in selfishness. But we there is also no freedom in religious rules that God didn’t create. Our own rules for “holiness” bring havoc. Both—and I’m here to repeat, BOTH—rob us of God’s abundant life.

Hear me carefully—hard is not always holy. Hard is holy when God asks it if you—but it is no more holy than finding delight and joy in a season of gifts, rest, and pure blessing.

In the end, being satisfied in God is a dance to the rhythm of His heart. When He says no, it always means yes to something better. But when He says yes, there also could be nothing better. And I’m here to ask Christians everywhere, “What longing do you have that God wants you to pursue?”

We pursue classes for cooking, training for business, college courses for becoming and doing things we’re good at. But when it comes to those internal longings of the heart, we suddenly sit on our hands and do nothing at all to position ourselves, expecting miracles to float from the sky because nothing else is “content” or “spiritual” enough.

I think God lets us sit in our religious ideas sometimes, trying in vain to convince ourselves that we are both happy and holy when we are neither.

Religion is a cage, often resulting in cult-like ideas of control. Relationship is a rhythm to God’s own heart, setting us free.

Maybe God wants to set us free from false ideas of holiness? Maybe He wants us to pursue the things we long for rather than force ourselves into a false contentment God never asked us to fabricate.

What if one of the greatest keys to abundant life is to accept His gifts, and even pursue them?

All in His time, in line with His will and Word, and by His grace.

“She’s on life support, and we’ll try to keep her alive until you get here,” my friend said.

The world stops when your friend’s child is no longer breathing on her own. Suddenly, you’re not breathing too well on your own either, and neither is your daughter who is facing the reality of losing her best friend to suicide.

We were on a non-stop flight to San Diego as quickly as possible, wishing the flight was for anything but our dear friend. The land of palm trees, ocean, and sunshine appealed to us both but it was difficult to enjoy because she was already gone by the time we landed. And as we opened her mother’s door, we all cried those tears of absolute agony no words can describe.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that my heart was pulling away from God rather than running to God. I was taking walks, reading, cleaning for my friend, sitting with relatives—but I wasn’t able to rest in Christ because all I felt was grief and doubt.

I felt unsteady, as if a Presence I needed was distant. But as a few days passed, I was able to respond to the Holy Spirit as I walked the beach.

1. Satan convinced a beautiful young girl to take her life—was he going to convince me on something?

Absolutely not.

2. Rather than throw my hands in despair, I needed to keep lifting my heart in worship. Worship to God is a slap to the evil one who tries to convince us that God is distant and we are without hope.

Rather than blame God, I needed to blame the one who opposes God.

Rather than walk away from hope, I needed to step into hope even more fully so I could offer it to others in this time of need.

3. All death, grief, sickness, and sorrow is on the earth because of sin. If Adam and Eve hadn’t listened to the devil more than to God’s voice (even when they didn’t understand), death would not exist. Was I going to turn away from life?

4. When we have questions about God, we need to get back to the basics:

There is darkness and there is light. I choose to align myself with Light even when life feels dark or others make choices that make my soul feel smothered in darkness. God is always light.

I choose Light.

“In Him was life, and the life was the light of men.” John 1:4, ESV

God is not only life, He is LIGHT.

We can have a million questions and a thousand why’s, but in it all we have a choice—will it be darkness or light?

I walked far out on the beach trying to escape others as I let waves wash my feet and sunshine kiss my skin. And resting on the gigantic rock, peace was restored as I turned, in spite of my questions, to the Light of all men and women who turn to Him.

Let there be LIGHT in your soul today when the world is dark.

Don’t fear darkness—only fear turning away from the Light Who pierces darkness.

And as satan tries to catch you with a million questions, turn your back on him to face the Only Answer—and know that today, your worship to the God of light will slap darkness in the face as you say it once again, “As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

Remember not to blame God for things the devil does. That is his greatest trick. Don’t let him convince you to turn to darkness just because of a dark situation. Instead, turn to light even more as you despise what darkness does.

Suicide can teach us many things.

People need hope. How can you turn to LIGHT and LIFE today so you have hope to offer those who feel none?

“May the God of hope fill you…….so that you may overflow with hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13, ESV

All is Grace,

Sara

I’m intrigued by the conditioning our surroundings have on our consciences and I’m bent on finding the will of God for His people without bias, culture, or upbringing, but only God’s word as expressed in the Bible.

I’m watching kids raised in a Muslim family become staunch muslims.

Children raised in Amish homes think it’s wrong to buy and drive a car.

On the other hand, some kids raised in a post modern, leftist society are changing their genders, wearing fake tails to identify as furries, and wanting litter boxes in bathrooms. The voices they hear call them to tune into feelings they feel, which we all know can run unbridled and perverted.

What a vast difference in each child’s story! And every child has a voice in his head, a story he tells himself, largely based on what he’s been told, who he’s been around, and how things functioned in his life from toddler to teen.

The stories we tell ourselves affect our relationships, our families, our marriages, and our walks with God.

We can choose to absorb voices from the people around us, from our families, from our spouses, or from God.

If we’re fortunate, those we’re around will only bring us truth—but most people in this world are conditioned to believe something rather than taught to choose what is true. Muslim parents raise muslim children, Amish parents raise Amish children, and if we’re not careful our post modern society will turn out an entire army of mothers who are no longer grounded in Biblical values.

The stories we tell ourselves become the voices our children hear.

1. A mother who’s been hurt in marriage can carry bitterness toward men. The voice her daughters hear will be “Men are awful and cannot be trusted.”

If this mother is wise, she will choose truth instead. Every day, she will rewire her brain to accept truth over betrayal, love over bitterness, and forgiveness over hate. The story in her own mind will change, and the voice her daughters absorb will be, “There are really great men in this world and we respect them, are thankful for them, and trust them.”

2. A mother living near Hollywood can carry undue pressure to measure up to a fake, plastic society where value is based on looks. The voices her daughters hear will be “I better look a certain way if I want to be loved and accepted.”

A wise woman invites other voices into her home, perhaps by putting sticky notes on mirrors with “Charm is deceptive and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30, ESV)

The story she tells herself will be true, lasting, and sustaining. Her daughters will see that it’s okay to run out the door without mascara, that staying healthy is more important than having a perfectly shaped body, and that value goes far, far deeper than fake beauty. Voices of society will fade into the background while God’s voice becomes stronger.

3. A woman who’s been hurt by others can carry a story of rejection. Every potential encounter for love or friendship is cast by a shadow of pending pain rather than an open door for meaningful companionship and love. The story in her head has a title, and she is convinced that the day’s chapter will be written as before.

The voice her daughters hear will be, “Life is dangerous, people can’t be trusted, and everyone will betray you.”

This woman will raise daughters whose chief goal in life is to protect themselves rather than allow themselves to be protected.

The story in a mother’s head can raise daughters who are snarky, feministic, and brash—but underneath, the attitudes others label as ugly are only valiant internal efforts to ward off a world that has been labeled “Pain” by the story their mother has written, which in turn has created those voices in her daughter’s head.

Call it PTSD, trauma, upbringing, culture, family, or the way your spouse is or is not—there are reasons people behave the way they do and accept voices that are entirely false over the One Voice that is always true, healing, loving, and good.

I want us to see that we can rewire our brains to live in goodness and truth, that we can tell a better story than the one life wrote for us, that we can shift the narrative and bless the following generation by voicing so much more.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8, ESV)

As always, God gives us tools to understand what’s going on so we can change into His way. Neuroplasticity is our brain’s ability to change, forming new neural pathways as we put in effort by focusing our attention on goodness rather than what’s happened to us. As we do this, we open our hearts to love rather than close them off in self-protection.

Of course, part of overcoming pain is processing it first. By acknowledging pain we work through it, even if it takes years. I’m not talking denial–I’m talking an identity based off past things that cast a story we are not willing to rewrite because we remain stuck in darkness.

When we are willing to honestly own our hurts, we can authentically move toward better. Whether that takes a little time or a long while is not someone else’s job to say–the only thing we need to focus on is that somewhere, somehow, there is goodness, and that goodness will have the final say in our lives. We move from a state of rejection into a state of love and belonging.

The friend we thought would reject us ends up loving us because we are full of truth, able to accept her, create warm spaces for her, and enjoy her company. In response, our brain literally creates a new neurological pathway largely on its own, merely by absorbing and responding to a good experience.

But—and here’s the important thing to remember—we have to put effort into thinking things that are true. I’ve never encountered something so difficult, yet so life changing. I could be living life happily when something reminded me of past trauma—and in no time at all, my stomach seized up with nausea and my entire body/brain went into flight/panic mode.

In those instances, I could choose two things.

1. I could run from whatever and whoever was (very innocently) triggering past trauma. I could keep myself in a safe, but lonely place in the world where no one could come close enough to hurt me.

2. Or, I could pause, take note of the nausea, remind myself that the people of today are not the people of the past, put the plate of food down, eat some crackers, chocolate cake or whatever helps the nausea, then spend the next few days praying, calling a mentor, and doing some very, very hard work of bringing my mind and body under control and in subjection to reality.

Then, I can choose to nurture relationships with those who disagree with me, those I want to run from, or those I feel threatened by. The over-arching genre of my life can be health, inviting others to enjoy it with me. As I push the demons of panic/betrayal aside for the angels of love/belonging, my life changes, changes, and changes some more.

The stories we tell ourselves are the voices others hear. So, if you’re in a lonely place of life, ask yourself what others are hearing when they’re in your vicinity. Are you inviting them into life or casting a shadow of death and misery?

Our past is no excuse to ruin the present for ourselves or anyone else.

We can keep telling ourselves that the story of the past is the story of the present, but this means pain has a greater word than healing. This means the Voice on the cross that said, “It is finished!” is of no use because we insist on looking back into the very thing He came to crucify—both our sin and the sins of those who hurt us.

He died for BOTH.

And this is the reason, mothers and wives, why the story of the cross overpowers the story of our lives, and why the Voice on the cross changes every tone and meaning of the voice in our head. From life experiences to feelings of inadequacy as a mother to allowing culture determine our thoughts rather than God’s word, the stories we tell ourselves become the theme of our voice.

Wise women speak life, healing, truth, and love. They love and are able to be loved. Somehow, eternity begins here and now with the God of the ages speaking His verdict, His voice, His heart over us. And we accept, sometimes in doubt, sometimes hesitantly–but the deeper our acceptance of His love, the more radically our stories change into voices our children were always meant to hear.

May the stories we tell ourselves line up to the Voice of the One Who wants to liberate our body, soul, and spirit.

Love Always,

Sara

Much like the Amish culture I grew up in, many churches are full of beautiful families who love God, but don’t expect miracles.

Somehow, a large portion of the church has decided that what happened in the Book of Acts is meant to be history.

Praying in tongues is considered a dangerous idea rather than a gift given by the Holy Spirit, and we run to the doctor without pausing to give God a chance for supernatural healing.

But I’m here to ask, “Why?”

Jesus says, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to the whole creation. Whoever believes and is baptized shall be saved, but whoever does not believe shall be condemned.

And these signs will accompany those who believe: in my name they will cast out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up serpents with their hands; and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover.”

So then the Lord Jesus, after He had spoken to them, was taken up into heaven and sat down at the right hand of God.

And they went out and preached everywhere, while the Lord worked with them and confirmed the message by accompanying signs.” Mark 16:15-19, ESV

My first question to the American church is this: why do we accept the first directive Jesus gave, to go into all the world and preach the gospel—yet dismiss the directions of how to do it? If new believers were going to experience miraculous things, how much more were the disciples going to show them as they preached? Jesus “confirmed the message by accompanying signs”.

My second question is this: Why do we give so much time, money, and energy into kingdom work, yet deny its power? “The kingdom of God does not consist in talk, but in power.” 1 Corinthians 4:20, ESV

We send missionaries abroad and hold weekend conferences on how to preach the gospel in other countries. Yet, we deny the accompanying signs Jesus clearly said would prove His message.

If we’re honest, we have to admit that miracles are happening in many, many places around the globe—places where people are desperate for God and have no other option.

Darkness and light don’t mesh easily in those places. Demonic and Heavenly clash in outwardly visible ways, and God shows His power to prove Himself.

I think He wants to do the same thing here. But how can He, if we lean back and declare those things part of by-gone days, dangerous, or off-the-rocker-weird? Or, simply too good to be true?

“For to one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues.

All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as He wills.” 1 Corinthians 12: 7-11, ESV

The first time I heard someone speaking in tongues, I was scared, upset, and thought it was odd and entirely unattractive.

Today, I see it as a beautiful way of connecting deeply to God when someone’s spirit has no words for the intensity of the prayer they need to pray. Scripture is clear that not everyone experiences this, but it is given to some just as all the other gifts are distributed as God wills.

Beware of anyone who would tell you that speaking in tongues is THE sign of Holy Spirit fullness. Paul asks, “Are all teachers? Do all work miracles?………Do all speak with tongues?” (1 Corinthians 12:29, ESV) Paul is making a point that not all believers speak or pray in tongues just as not all of them have the gift of teaching, etc.

Jesus told us it is better for Him to go away because He’s sending the Holy Spirit. If the Holy Spirit is better than the actual physical presence of Christ when He walked this earth, bringing healing, hope, life to all those who came to Him—how much more does He still want to show Himself in those ways?

Having the Holy Spirit is supposed to be BETTER. We don’t need to keep wishing we were on this earth when Jesus was when we truly experience the Holy Spirit and His power.

“Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send Him to you.” John 16:7, ESV

It’s difficult to imagine better if we remove some of the best things Jesus brought us, left us with, and commissioned us with. He left us with a mandate to continue the work He started. No where in scripture do we read that His miracles were meant to end; rather, we see Him not reducing or changing either His means or His method except handing the baton to His followers to continue doing exactly what He was doing.

The Holy Spirit is deeply personal, as in my friend Anna’s case when He showed her how to release everyone who had hurt her, and experienced her entire body, soul, and spirit surrendered and at peace.

The Holy Spirit is external, moving in miracles across the earth to confirm the gospel.

The Holy Spirit is freedom—all His works bring greater life and deeper understanding of the love of Christ.

The Holy Spirit is peace—it doesn’t take noise to prove His presence.

God doesn’t always heal when we ask Him to. The important thing to remember is that He is our Healer. When He says no to external, bodily healing, He’s saying yes to internal soul healing that is worth far more than external comfort.

There’s something about pressing that causes us to cry out to Him and experience Him more. Like Joni Eareckson Tada, who admitted to not “needing” Christ before she was paralyzed from the waist down, but afterward came to walk with Him closely, encouraging millions of people around the world.

The Holy Spirit works in various ways—we only need to seek His fullness and worship Him without limits, agree with what He’s doing, and ask Him to use us as conduits for His work. Whatever it looks like for each individual, God knows, and formed each of us in specific ways to show His grace to the world.

Not all gifts are overtly supernatural. We cannot tell God what gift to give another, or place expectations on others. Scripture is clear that not all operate in the same gifts. We need ALL.

Some of the gifts of the Holy Spirit are practical. Some of my favorite people are gifted in serving others—it makes them come alive and puts momentum in their steps. Their gift brings the love of God to others in tangible ways, incredibly needed and beautiful.

“Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; 7 if service, in our serving; the one who teaches,in his teaching; 8 the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; ^the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.” Romans 13:6-8, ESV

It all begins and ends with worship. Pause to pray with someone rather than walk by quickly, hoping they find help somewhere. Be brave. Be life. Be the salt of the earth and keep your flavor!

Walking with God alive and full is an exciting life. His presence is GOOD.

Perhaps this is why miracles are seen in the persecuted church more than here—they are bombarded with troubles too great to bear, crying out to God for help and deliverance.

Perhaps, more than strive for material gain, the American church needs to fall on its face in acknowledgment that our need is far greater than the material things we spend our days striving for.

We don’t need more stuff—we need more Jesus.

“For from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.” John 1:16, ESV

“Mom, part of the reason I respect you is because you’re not as afraid of conflict as you used to be. You stand up to me when I’m wrong.”

I nodded. It was a work in progress, this thing of avoiding conflict—running from it, really.

My child had always had a mind of her own and wanted me to be able to “fight” it out, while I’d shut down and hide until everyone’s anger was gone and we could discuss something rather than argue.

Waiting until the heat of a moment passes can be wise. Sometimes I still ask a child to wait until I or they are not angry. I don’t want to say things I regret—and few people are wise with words when they’re upset.

But I did have to learn not to shut down my own thoughts and opinions just to avoid conflict. Because the truth is, avoiding conflict doesn’t save emotional intimacy with someone; it actually hinders emotional intimacy.

When you shut down just to avoid a disagreement, you shut down part of your authentic self. It takes authenticity to connect wholeheartedly with another and disagreements are inevitable.

Trying to avoid conflict was sabotaging the very thing I was trying to save.

I learned a few things over the years that helped me live in a better zone than flight, freeze, or fawn. Because who can connect with a less-than-real person while they run (flight), freeze (suddenly become tongue tied), or fawn (do whatever it takes to make another happy even when it’s not what they truly see, believe, feel, or want).

Our humanistic world calls people to “be what they are” even if it hurts others. I wanted to avoid that. I wanted to help, bless, encourage, and serve others. But truth be told, my inability to engage in conflict was also selfish—I wanted to be liked, and every time someone disagreed with me, I felt disliked.

Emotional maturity means we expect and accept conflicts and disagreements to rise in every meaningful relationship, are able to stay in a conversation authentically, and are not hurt as soon as someone says something that used to make us withdraw.

1. Honesty is classy, not rude.

How many times have we heard someone be blatantly rude, only to have it excused by, “I was just being honest!”

No, you’re not just being honest. You’re being angry and mean, treating another as a less than worthy human being. Our goal as parents, friends, and partners needs to be gracious honesty, which means we say what needs to be said in the kindest manner possible.

Yesterday I poured someone a drink I had made quickly and asked her to try it out. “I don’t really like it,” she said. “Maybe because it’s cold and I enjoy hot drinks.”

My friend’s honesty was refreshing. I’d hate her to sit there pretending to enjoy my drink when I genuinely want to know what to make or not make for her next time.

There was nothing rude about her comment because it was said kindly, in a moment when I wanted to know if the new thing I was trying was a success—or not. And this brings us to the next point.

2. We need to give and receive feedback that may feel uncomfortable.

What do we say if someone asks a question like, “Do I come across needy sometimes?”

You’re staring at that face a little tongue tied, because truth be told, your friend does come across needy at times. At that moment, you have a choice—be the friend who loves enough to be honest and help her out, or hide the truth in order to spare her any hurt feelings.

You can and should be authentically, kindly honest with her. “Yes, sometimes. But I also know you don’t want to be, and I think that most of the time you come across confident and secure.”

Or, throw in any last comment that is true and would help her receive your first acknowledgment well.

Most of the time when people ask questions about themselves, they ask because they already know the truth. If you affirm the truth, you help them change, but if you deny it, you throw a bandage over a wound that needs to heal from the inside out.

The secret is not avoidance of discomfort, but of love during discomfort.

My best friends love me. I know this, so I can ask them questions about my life, choices, or behavior because I truly want growth. I ask them to give me undiluted answers so I can see myself and change where I need to. But here’s the key—I don’t do that with everyone.

That brings us to our next point.

3. Honesty does not mean telling everyone everything.

There are people in my life who’ve shown so much love and support through the years that I can ask them anything and receive what they share even if it stings a little. If I know someone loves me and wants only my highest good in all things, I can hear things like, “I wouldn’t have done that,” or “Make sure you do this instead”.

Social media doesn’t deserve to know everything about you. Oversharing is not dignified or classy—but trust worthy friends who’ve proven their love cannot hear anything that would make them love you less. In fact, just the opposite. What a beautiful thing for lovers, friends, and families to be in the difficult/bad parts of your life as well as the good.

Whatever relationship means most to you, make sure you cultivate this kind of safe vulnerability. Remember, you do not have to share everything with everyone to be a vulnerable, honest person. Keep your dignity and save some things for those closest to you.

4. Your dignity requires your honesty.

When you’re able to say how you feel, express your needs, stand strong against wrong-doing when others may judge you for it, and not say whatever it takes to make another feel good at your own expense—then and only then have you retained your dignity as a woman.

Wives and mothers, you are here for more than just to make your spouses or children happy. God gave you wisdom that was meant to show itself. No woman who understands the worth of God’s voice inside her will shut down for another person’s pride.

What we’re seeing in this world is humanistic expression of all feelings, justified as authenticity. I want us to go far deeper, where the expression of opinions, feelings, and thought brings goodness to those around us. We are strong enough to speak and strong enough to be silent when needed. This brings us to the next point.

5. Sometimes we need to be silent.

Wives and girlfriends, you can wear a man out by constantly expressing negative feelings. Sometimes, you need to process alone with God or with another girl. Remember, authentic relationships still have a sense of dignity. Your man does not need to hear everything out of your mouth at all times. If you do need to express disappointment, remember to share it with respect and love.

This can look as simple as saying “I feel anxious when you’re late” rather than saying, “Why are you always late?”

Honesty requires wisdom. Learn to rephrase your words so another can hear them. You’ll still be expressing yourself but the results will be so much better. A man can handle needing to change something so his wife or girlfriend doesn’t feel anxious but no man can thrive in a relationship where they’re constantly attacked, blamed, or criticized.

Many times we don’t need to say anything at all. The world is bigger than us, and as women, we need to remember that not everything revolves around us and our feelings. Be a little tough on yourselves, and let’s all grow up into maturity, together.

In short, authentic, whole-hearted living means learning to express ourselves in the best way possible, creating a loving environment where all things can be discussed in ways that make conversations open up rather than close down.

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” Proverbs 25:11

Remember that “fitly spoken” doesn’t mean shutting down your words, but redirecting the way you speak them.

Love to all,

Sara

I’ve often wondered what would happen if women chose to express their needs differently.

What if women didn’t bottle up, shut down, or remain silent when they have a need?

In the same note, what if women didn’t yell, accuse, or nag to get their needs met?

I’ve seen a woman shut down, conditioned to think she is not worthy of someone else’s sacrifice or time, or perhaps she’s married to a man who wants her in a subordinate posture with no voice. Perhaps, every time she tries to express a need it still goes unmet or is met with a selfish response, so she learns to shut down and survive as best as possible.

This is tragic. But tragic also is the woman who riddles her home with criticism and control. In this home, a man may shut down or become angry, avoidant, or bitter. He is never good enough, so why keep trying?

The world seems full of women trying to get their needs met, but untaught on how to do it effectively. Not only in marriage or dating, but in friendships and community, we make these blunders that give us exactly what we don’t want rather than what we’re truly looking for.

We’re told to be honest, so we honestly say things like:

“You’re always so busy and you never spend time with me.”

When in reality we need to say, “I miss you and I’d love to have time with you.”

One way places value on the other.

One way criticizes the other for not being “enough”.

Both ways express a need, but one way lifts the other up. Saying, “I miss you and I’d love to have time with you” translates into “You are lovable enough to miss and awesome enough for me to crave time with.”

Saying, “You’re always so busy and you never spend time with me” translates into “No matter how hard you work, you are not measuring up.”

Mothers, wives, sisters, and friends—I believe our relationships would change if we refuse both sides of the ditch. Yes, we are going to express our needs and no, we are not going to shut down. We are going to use our voices, yes—but we are going to use them well.

I don’t think talking against feminism is truly helpful these days, but teaching women how to use their voice arrests attention because there is hope in the art of gracious communication. No one is asking her to be silent, leave her gifts and talents on the table, or live with unexpressed need.

Effective communication elevates women like Jesus did. Every tear, secret longing, voiced question, or committed sin was met with hope and answers by the lovely face of Christ when He walked this earth.

Mary’s question of where to find the Lord was met with the answer of His presence. She asked, searched, and used her voice to find what she was needing to know, and Jesus answered every need she expressed.

“But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb………….And she saw two angels in white……They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?”

She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.”

Then, Mary turned around and saw a man standing behind her, but had no idea it was Jesus. He asked her why she was weeping. “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?”

Mary begs the man to tell her where Jesus was laid so she could take his body away and care for it. Then, Jesus calls her by name. “Mary.”

Immediately she knew it was the Lord. And just as quickly, Jesus asked her to go tell the disciples what she had seen and heard from Him. (John 20:11-18, ESV)

Mary needed something and went to find it. She didn’t hide away in her home, weeping. She knew she was capable of taking care of Jesus’ body and she was courageous enough to face Roman soldiers to ask for it.

Her courage allowed her to speak and her dignity required her to speak wisely even in her distress. God sent angels to answer her rather than soldiers to despise her. Then He sent Jesus not only to show Himself to her but to call her by name and send her to tell men what she’d seen and heard.

Do we see how Mary Magdalene, out of whom seven demons was cast, was elevated and empowered that day by Christ? None of that would have happened if she had either hidden away in her house in despair (shutting down) or been out screaming at evil men (control and anger) for killing her beloved Jesus.

Mary’s voice was heard that day—and I believe, as women all over the world learn how to utilize their femininity with true empowerment rather than brazen attitudes, we can bring healing and hope to our relationships.

To you married ladies, expressing your needs with honor can change your marriage. But, in the case that it doesn’t, take heart that the same Jesus who heard Mary also hears you and He will meet your needs even if your husband does not. He did it for me, and He will do it for you.

Christians are not always great at honestly owning human need or desire.

We grow up hearing people teach against anger, discontentment, or lust. The internalized message often becomes “Don’t be angry (over anything), don’t want what you don’t have (force your desires to a back burner), and be satisfied in God (be fully complete without romance).”

Yet, we are people created in the image of God for the glory of God with the intent that we should bring more of God to the world we live in. So, should we not take a careful look at some of our strongest emotions since they are created by Him?

What if, rather than silencing our emotions, we bring Christ into them instead?

Let’s look at one of the most quoted “Christian” phrases we hear:

“Marriage is intended to make you holy more than to make you happy.”

I believe God purposefully created marriage to create one of the happiest situations on this earth. Our lack to experience it is not an excuse to paste God onto an unhappy marriage as if He never intended our happiness.

God could have created the world without color.

He could have made food with no flavor.

And He definitely could have come up with a way to procreate without the closeness of relationship or the enjoyment of sex.

What if Christians walked around saying that God intended food for our nutrition, not our enjoyment? We’d laugh! Of all people, Christians are some of the most hearty advocates of the enjoyment of food, often at the expense of health and vitality.

Should not our enjoyment of marriage go far deeper than our delight in food?

God definitely intended marriage to bring much happiness. He says that only some can bear to be single, those who are eunuchs for the kingdom and those who are born eunuchs. He knew that the joys of marriage would be so greatly missed by most single people, that they would, by default, end up getting married.

“For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.” (Matthew 19:12, ESV)

Here we see that God purposefully created most people to crave relationship. The physical, emotional, and spiritual parts of us are born to crave, and it would be difficult to argue that when we crave something, there is not a part of us that craves the enjoyment of it.

Even sex was designed for enjoyment as well as procreation. Our bodies were created to need and want sex whether or not we intend to bring more children into this world. And God acknowledges that when Paul tells us it is better to marry than to burn.

“To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7:8-10, ESV)

Most people crave companionship. What isn’t more fun when done with someone you love?

My question to the church is this: do we shy away from promoting happiness in marriage because we are so far from experiencing it?

Why should listeners sit in our pews hearing about the hardships of marriage and how our holiness was intended rather than our happiness? Should they not hear, repeatedly, of the joys of a happy marriage and how to maintain it? Should they not hear couples talk of life with their best friend, and how beautiful it is?

And when that is not the case, should we not all be on our knees in repentance for not pursuing the happiness God intended within marriage, and making it so? If God creates this gift for happiness and holiness, why should we merely harp on holiness as if God cares nothing for our happiness?

I think sometimes Christians find more enjoyment in food than they do in marriage. In fact, food destroys marriages as spouses binge-eat their way to comfort while avoiding the discomfort of a lacking marriage.

One earnest friend put it this way to me recently: “There are many kinds of abuse within marriages. Over-eating to obesity is one of them. It is unfair to a spouse.”

I was struck with the earnestness of a statement made so passionately on a topic most dare not mention. And I have to put out the question: If some things make a marriage difficult, do not other things make it supremely happy?

If some things make food gross, we add spices for flavor, sugar for sweetener. We study, learn, and taste test to see what works and what doesn’t work to create delicious food. We talk about pan frying or air frying or deep frying, knowing that whatever method we use will produce different results.

Never do we stand in a cooking class and say, “Food was created for nutrition, not for enjoyment.” (Though I do believe nutrition is of greater importance.)

Friends, let’s give a younger marriage-shy generation more hope than to pretend we expect less enjoyment from a monogamous Christian marriage than we do from other things. Let’s start giving our spouses the same effort and see what happens.

A happy marriage won’t happen if churches keep preaching leadership and submission while neglecting friendship, mutual respect and honor, and how to show each other even more love than we show our best friends.

As with everything Christ teaches, most “authority” problems in the home solve themselves when both husband and wife are emotionally intelligent enough to know how to treat each other as good or better than they treat their friends.

We don’t ignore our best friends, then expect them to shower us with love.

We don’t yell at them, then expect them to want to be around us.

We don’t refuse to talk, then expect them to want to talk with us on our birthday.

We don’t even use “that tone” in our voices when we speak to our friends. We wouldn’t dare! What’s more, we wouldn’t want to.

Tell me then, how another sermon on leadership and submission will fix the root cause of cruel treatment within marriages. I’m here to say, from experience, it often won’t.

Healthy leadership in marriage is a heart matter. When a man’s heart is humble, unselfish, intelligent, and giving, most wives will say without doubt that he is the best. She will admire him without trying. She will want to make his life great. She will want to meet his needs as he meets hers.

And when a woman’s heart is kind, she won’t want to yell at her husband. In fact, her dignity will not allow it. She will understand that every unit needs a leader, and will defer to her husband on larger matters of disagreement when a decision must be made. Her honesty will lead her to give input while her humility will allow her to defer willingly, when necessary.

This is a picture of Christ and the church. It is so much better than “men should lead and wives should submit”. Jesus always comes to the heart of the matter and offers the gift from abundant life within the heart.

So much of a happy marriage is simply emotional intelligence. Some things we just don’t do; some things we just don’t say. Other things we do, on purpose, often. We study, learn, and behave in ways that make our partners feel safe and happy.

For those of us who have or had unhappy marriages we couldn’t fix though we tried our best, let’s take heart that holiness is indeed more important than happiness. We know that our personal choices for good do not always create good in another.

But we honor God and find even deeper love from Christ in these places. And we will always know the happiness God intended us to have, while we wish that the church, rather than stick a Jesus label onto unhappy marriages, would do internal surgery to find the cause and cure of it all.

For the Christ Who created Love,

Sara

Can you imagine suggesting that a woman is not a woman, but only worthy of the title “person”?

Parents in Vermont are in an uproar as schools change lingo in their sex education. A woman is to be called “a person who bears seed” and a man is to be called “a person who carries sperm”.

In the name of supposed equality, linguistic theft has never been so real.

A modern world can start fudging truth but a post modern world has a difficult time acknowledging that there is absolute truth. And yet, any logical, well-reasoning person will see that those who want others to believe that truth is relative, are in fact carrying their own version of absolute truth.

“There is no absolute truth” is of necessity an absolute statement of “truth”.

Those who cry tolerance most of all are often the most intolerant of all who still choose to place faith in something greater than feeling or emotion—the God of this universe Who created all things, is the Founder of love, and Who will never call evil good because that is contrary to His nature.

How could we not look to Someone bigger than ourselves? Human emotions are scary and can go absolutely wacko.

It was emotion who took my ex to a fifteen year old girl.

It was emotion who took a shooter to Nashville, leaving devastated families grieving thier children.

Every affair begins with emotion. Someone feels discouragement in a marriage, feels attracted to someone else, and bam—one more divorce hits our post modern world where humanism is on the rise, even in the church.

Society begins to disintegrate when we live as if fickle feelings are greater than factual truths.

It should be no surprise that emotional women are now initiating 70% of divorces. Satan lies again as he did in the garden when he showed Eve delicious fruit and asked her if God really said no about something that good.

Just as Satan’s reasoning didn’t change God’s word to Eve, so human reasoning will never, ever dismantle the spoken Word of God.

I love that I can run to the Word of God when my feelings are going nuts.

I love that I have something solid to tell my children, “This feels wrong because God says it’s wrong.”

I love that I can rest my heart on the promises of God when the world is full of people who would rather indulge in passion.

Those who can’t place their feet firmly on the Word of God will very soon begin calling evil, good. Gen Z has a difficult time realizing that the homosexual relationships they see aren’t sweet, they are sinful.

“Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.” (Isaiah 5:20, ESV)

Never in all history did God intend children to have two mothers or two fathers. Never was man intended to have sex with man, or woman with woman. Man was created to be with woman, and nothing our society says will ever change the goodness of creation in God’s design.

Those who speak against it are not always “homophobic”; sometimes, they are the most loving people around.

The very nature of love cannot tolerate all things. If it could, there would be no right or wrong, no need to incriminate anyone for anything. Murder and rape would be okay. Because once you say there is no absolute truth, you have no basis for saying anything is wrong. Who are you to decide what is right and wrong if you cannot acknowledge a God who does the same?

The very nature of God requires there to be right and wrong, light and darkness, good and evil. A good God cannot call evil things good, or pretend it doesn’t matter. He cares about Nashville. He cares about victims of abuse. He cares about a spouse abandoned or cheated on.

God will never pretend He doesn’t care. He will always hold a standard of love that reaches to the broken and makes them whole again. So again I ask, who are we to decide what God can call good and what He can call evil? Dare we try to receive His love without also accepting His word?

There’s a dignity, a love, a grace given to those who love others too much to watch them destroy themselves.

I say LOVE OTHERS for a reason. So-called Christians, please stop with the mockery and laughter. No drag queen will ever be drawn to your ridicule, but they may be drawn to your righteousness and love.

Society begins to disintegrate when family structure dismantles itself for unbridled lust. Lust gone wild will never replace love grown in commitment.

“In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes.” (Judges 21:25, ESV)

“When the Spirit of Truth comes, He will guide you into all truth, for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak, and He will declare to you the things that are to come.” (John 16:13, ESV)

“Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breast plate of righteousness in place.” (Ephesians 6:14, ESV)

Recently, I watched a survey on men expressing what they loved most in women. The answers caught my attention.

They didn’t say they loved when women tried to be equal, or prove they could do everything a man can do. They didn’t express love for manly behavior or strength. They didn’t say they loved a woman who could bring in good income for the family or square her shoulders to prove herself equal.

From one random man to the next, their eyes lit up with tenderness when the question came from a random stranger holding a microphone on a beach. And without exception, with happy smiles on their faces, this is what they said:

“I like that women are soft and nurturing.”

“I like that they have good intuition and can see things I need to change that I can’t see about myself.”

“I like that women are beautiful.”

“Women are amazing. They’re like Goddesses.”

It didn’t take just watching the survey to get me thinking once again on the importance of femininity in today’s world.

Watching the gleam in my 12 year old boy’s eyes as his picked me up and threw me over the couch made me laugh, then think deeper.

Why did he feel so great when I told him how strong he was, how I couldn’t believe he could do that, and how tall he was growing? And in no time I was listening as he said, “Mom, when I’m fourteen I’ll need to get some cologne.”

“Why?” I asked, wondering what conversations would happen next in my kitchen. “You already have deodorant.”

“Well, my body odor will get worse and worse by then,” he said proudly. “I’ll need both cologne and deodorant.”

Good grief. How can a boy be proud of smelling badly? But he is—and when I fuss over his smell he laughs and tries to smell worse. The bathroom smells badly after he uses it, and he’s more than proud. The same scenario would make my girls run the fan and close the door, hoping no one notices.

At this point all a mother can do is smile, promise a trip to the store for cologne at fourteen years old, and keep cooking food for that lanky frame shooting upwards at a frightening speed.

It only takes being a mother or an honest evaluator of humanity to realize that men and women are different—very different.

My daughters are strong little women but they definitely don’t get a kick out of smelling badly like my boys do.

My daughters are capable, yet want a brother or father to show care and support.

My daughters are intelligent and able to go out into the world for work and school, and yet, what makes my son beam with pride would make them cringe in distress.

My past culture showed obvious oppression of women, and still, I cannot and will not embrace modern day feminism.

Here’s why:

1. Men and women need each other’s strengths.

I’m quite certain that even most of the world’s most liberal women wish for a man to lift or carry something every once in awhile. In general, God created men strong and women less strong.

A man’s desire for strength and a woman’s desire for care shows itself in obscure ways at times. Over and over I hear a woman happily telling of her husband’s daily morning ritual of waking her up with coffee in bed. Her joy has far more to do with feeling cared for than it does with getting to drink coffee in bed. Her husband knows the tricks to his trade, makes it his morning habit—and they both thrive as a result.

A woman knows the tricks to her trade when she nurtures her baby at night, decorates the house, and feeds her family. If she works outside the home, there are still differences by nature and nurture.

A man’s strength has far more to do with character than with body size. I’ve seen some of the greatest men have less-large frames. Less body and more heart is far more masculine than more body and less heart. So watch your choices carefully, teen girls who look for strength in Hollywood fashion.

2. Men and women both need beauty.

A man is designed to crave beauty, not by being beautiful but by observing and appreciating beauty. When femininity is no longer beautiful, but becomes brash, there is little for a real man to be attracted to.

Girls love feeling pretty. And who do they love feeling beautiful for, more than a man they love and care about? The answer is obvious in creation itself—girls spend time in front of the mirror and men spend time admiring the beauty they see. Both are happy because both are living out what God put in.

We are designed by the divine.

Beauty means taking care of our bodies, yes. But even more, it means cultivating our souls. Men need women who are victorious rather than victims.

They need women who are disciplined more than disastrous.

And they need women who are not afraid of their femininity but who understand their greatest power lies in it.

Remove feminine beauty from this world and you’ll have increasing problems with gay and lesbian lifestyles. Women need to keep giving real men something to appreciate.

3. Men want to protect and women need protection.

Feminists may bristle at this line, but before any estrogen laden responses are given (even a feminist’s fighting manner suggests she’s utterly woman) I want to ask one question:

If war were to break out, most on the front lines would be men, not women. Here again, our society has given equal opportunity yet gender differences are clearly obvious in that, even though women are given equal opportunity to engage in warfare, the outcome is different.

There are still far more men in the military than women, even though there is equal opportunity.

Would we see modern day feminists pick up the sword on a first day of front-line grueling battle, proving with their death that they are “equal” to men?

I dare say we’d see men still willingly give their lives for women and children even though our society emasculates them on every turn. While it would be hard for women to enter battle, it would be difficult for good men not to protect their loved ones.

I know there are exceptions to the rule, such as Joan of Arc or other soldier women. But even with Joan, the most exemplary things I read about her are her encouragement to soldiers rather than her fighting.

Divine design created men to protect because women need protection. This means a man is called to protect a woman’s heart as well as her body. This is why cheating on a woman is so cowardly of a man. Rather than protect her, he wounds her.

Men would do well to understand that protection and leadership is not just physical. Most importantly, it is emotional and spiritual. Girls, when you choose a man, choose one who knows how to protect your heart by guarding it from devastation. Never choose a boy in a man’s body; choose a man’s man who is also leader in righteousness.

4. Woman was created from man’s rib.

“Then the Lord said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.

Now out of the ground the Lord had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name.

The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not a helper fit for him.

So the Lord caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.

And the rib the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.

Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.’

Therefor a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife.

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” (Genesis 2: 18-24, ESV)

God chose dust to create Adam while He chose a rib, close to man’s heart, to create woman. Why would we think to prove ourselves when God shows us in the very act of creation how valuable and loved we are?

Feminine women always remember that they have equal value, yet different roles.

Feminine women have no need to compete with men because they are deeply aware that they complement men.

In short, I am against modern day feminism because it devalues womanhood when its goal is to elevate it. When we understand that we are to complement men, we no longer compete with men. When we start competing with men, we step outside of our element and become brash, controlling, and miserable. Again, we are not designed to prove ourselves, but to be ourselves.

The psychological makeup of human beings flows with the Biblical design for our homes. Women loving womanhood means healthy men have something to be attracted and drawn to, something to protect and provide for, and someone to compliment them in all the ways they need it most.

Here’s to faith-filled femininity!

It’s odd how some of the most tear-filled experiences of life also bring the most joy-filled freedom of the soul.

“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5)

What is our reaction to a particularly difficult day?

Rather than think, “Why can’t I be stronger?”, just let yourself have a bad day. Stay in your bed for a morning and let yourself cry it out. This seems counter-intuitive, but by entering your grief you’ll be able to let go of it in time.

The secret is to not stay there alone. There’s a big difference in wallowing by ourselves, or entering with Jesus.

Rather than trying so hard to come out of our grief, we need to focus on bringing Jesus into our grief. Only in this way can we truly move forward.

Another clique quote I dislike is that “Time heals”. The truth is, many people get worse as time goes along. Many never overcome grief and the bitterness over what was lost. Only those who bring Christ into their grief can see a blessing in it, walk out of it, and overcome it with time.

Jesus entered grief. Yes, He asked God for a way out, He sweated stress-drops of blood, and He wanted a different way. God said “No” to His own Son so that our redemption could be purchased.

See this–begging God to change your circumstance is being like Jesus. He begged God, too. But when He knew there was no way out, He radically accepted the cross.

“For it was fitting that He, for whom all things exist and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the Founder of their salvation perfect through suffering.”

(Hebrews 2:10, ESV)

I had to radically accept my divorce before I could navigate my way out of it and build a new life with courage.

Humans were born for love, but sin brought otherwise into the world. And because of this, we are no longer perfect in a blissful, suffering-free world. How we wish Eve had never taken the apple—and yet, we do the same, saying yes to the old serpent when he causes us to doubt the goodness of God.

Satan asks us to consider that God might not really mean what He says, or that God is depriving us. And yet, the truth is, when God says no, He is inviting us rather than depriving us.

God knows what we don’t always know–that our earth-saturated souls do not always feel the need to be satiated with God. But when earthly happiness disappears, our hearts become sponges for heaven-sent joy.

You will see the difference when your soul shifts from dependence on faulty, earthly people to utter dependence on a perfect, heavenly God.

When God says no, He’s actually saying yes to something better. Even if your circumstances don’t change, I can assure you He will do even better things in your soul.

Jesus wasn’t afraid to enter suffering when Mary and Martha told him Lazarus had died. He came, He wept—then, He prayed. See this—He willingly experienced human grief by choosing to enter it even as He knew God would overcome it.

First, He stood and wept. Then, He asked God for life. This is what we need to do—fully enter our grief so we can fully open the door to grace.

Loneliness is one of the emotions God wants to enter. Rather than shut down or medicate, we fully acknowledge to the Lord that we’re lonely, then invite Him into that space with us. Then, let Him lead us to people, places, and things to do.

When we invite Him into our negative emotions, we grow better. When we deny or suppress them, we grow stagnant or depressed.

No one wants to feel dead when they’re breathing. When we suppress our grief, we also suppress our growth.

Jesus wants to come INTO our grief so He can bring us OUT. As He wept over Lazarus, He prayed over death, then overcame death. Lazarus walked out of death because Jesus looked to LIFE in the face of death.

Discomfort and sorrow is one of the tools God uses to bring us to His comfort and joy. Like an oxymoron, sorrow seems diametrically opposed to joy—and yet, when we bring Jesus into our suffering, we bring victory in spite of the suffering.

The process of this becomes an open door for greater freedom than those who had never suffered at all.

Consider with me the power that comes from overcoming something that would have destroyed you. Are you not better, stronger, more able and equipped than if you had never needed to overcome?

We crave ease, and yet, no soldier is born through ease.

We crave good treatment from others, and yet, we learn forgiveness.

Rather than run from suffering by entering emotional or mental denial, we need to enter our suffering with radical acceptance of what is, so that Jesus can move us forward into what will be.

Jesus entered death so He could destroy death. If He had run from death, He never would have conquered it. Not only did He destroy death, He destroyed Him who had the power of death, then put on a stunning display of LIFE in a tomb for death as He sat up in his grave and walked straight out.

I’m smiling as I picture darkness cringe in the face of such Light! And sisters—how Jesus struggled to accept the burden of sin and pain He’d have to carry in order to show the world what RISEN looks like?!

Jesus had to enter the tomb so He could rise from the tomb.

“Since therefor the children share in flesh and blood, He Himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death He might destroy the one who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery.” (Hebrews 2:14a & 15, ESV)

Sister, don’t be afraid of your suffering. Enter it with Jesus and you will walk out of it with Jesus. Whether your circumstances change or not, your soul will walk right out of the effects of those circumstances.

As Jesus walked out of the tomb in a magnificent display of LIFE, so you will walk out of your grief representing this Jesus Who brings life, healing, wholeness in the face of death.

You may not be able to escape your circumstances, but you can definitely escape the damage Satan tried to inflict on your soul. And because your soul is eternal, and the greatest gift in life is autonomy with God, the suffering you used to run from can now be entered with peace.

The suffering you no longer fear can now be used to spit into hell just a little (or a whole lot), as you walk with the God of all grace.

Sending love and virtual hugs,

Sara