“She’s on life support, and we’ll try to keep her alive until you get here,” my friend said.
The world stops when your friend’s child is no longer breathing on her own. Suddenly, you’re not breathing too well on your own either, and neither is your daughter who is facing the reality of losing her best friend to suicide.
We were on a non-stop flight to San Diego as quickly as possible, wishing the flight was for anything but our dear friend. The land of palm trees, ocean, and sunshine appealed to us both but it was difficult to enjoy because she was already gone by the time we landed. And as we opened her mother’s door, we all cried those tears of absolute agony no words can describe.
It didn’t take long for me to realize that my heart was pulling away from God rather than running to God. I was taking walks, reading, cleaning for my friend, sitting with relatives—but I wasn’t able to rest in Christ because all I felt was grief and doubt.
I felt unsteady, as if a Presence I needed was distant. But as a few days passed, I was able to respond to the Holy Spirit as I walked the beach.
1. Satan convinced a beautiful young girl to take her life—was he going to convince me on something?
Absolutely not.
2. Rather than throw my hands in despair, I needed to keep lifting my heart in worship. Worship to God is a slap to the evil one who tries to convince us that God is distant and we are without hope.
Rather than blame God, I needed to blame the one who opposes God.
Rather than walk away from hope, I needed to step into hope even more fully so I could offer it to others in this time of need.
3. All death, grief, sickness, and sorrow is on the earth because of sin. If Adam and Eve hadn’t listened to the devil more than to God’s voice (even when they didn’t understand), death would not exist. Was I going to turn away from life?
4. When we have questions about God, we need to get back to the basics:
There is darkness and there is light. I choose to align myself with Light even when life feels dark or others make choices that make my soul feel smothered in darkness. God is always light.
I choose Light.
“In Him was life, and the life was the light of men.” John 1:4, ESV
God is not only life, He is LIGHT.
We can have a million questions and a thousand why’s, but in it all we have a choice—will it be darkness or light?
I walked far out on the beach trying to escape others as I let waves wash my feet and sunshine kiss my skin. And resting on the gigantic rock, peace was restored as I turned, in spite of my questions, to the Light of all men and women who turn to Him.
Let there be LIGHT in your soul today when the world is dark.
Don’t fear darkness—only fear turning away from the Light Who pierces darkness.
And as satan tries to catch you with a million questions, turn your back on him to face the Only Answer—and know that today, your worship to the God of light will slap darkness in the face as you say it once again, “As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”
Remember not to blame God for things the devil does. That is his greatest trick. Don’t let him convince you to turn to darkness just because of a dark situation. Instead, turn to light even more as you despise what darkness does.
Suicide can teach us many things.
People need hope. How can you turn to LIGHT and LIFE today so you have hope to offer those who feel none?
“May the God of hope fill you…….so that you may overflow with hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13, ESV
All is Grace,
Sara
Women of Purpose 